They Got the Gestures Down!

Brickfish Political Dream Team Brickfish

This is my response to the Brickfish Political Dream Team Campaign. For supporting links, visit the brickfish site, by clicking on the links above. Below is a copy of the blog entry for this contest.

Let's be serious for a moment. Jolie and Lohan in 2008? What a load! The real political dream team would be Venutra/O'Brien, with some famous, well-chosen appointees.

Jesse Ventura, former World Wrestling Federation Star, former governor of Minnesota, current political guru would make a great president. Not only would he body slam those competitor chumps all the way to the White House, he actually has some pretty amazing policy ideas, outlined in his book "Don't Start the Revolution without Me." For example, Ventura would work to make a governmental system that realizes its “for the people” pledge. In his book, Ventura discusses how the Democrats and Republicans took control of Presidential debates away from the unbiased League of Women Voters in 1996. Why? Ross Perot made such a showing in the 1992 Presidential election, the League of Women would have allowed him into the debates in 1996. Of course that would have taken votes away from republicans and Democrats alike. Rather than beat Perot in an open fight, the parties seized the debates from the League of Women Voters, effectively muscling out third party candidates. Another point Ventura makes in his book: Stop ignoring Cuba. During a visit with Fidel Castro, Ventura learned that Cubans import their milk from across the Pacific Ocean from New Zealand. Ventura's convincing argument: The U.S. policy to ignore Cuba was based on the idea that if we ignore them, the Cuban people will rise up and insist on a more American-style government. Clearly this policy is not having the desired affect. Instead, by ignoring Cuba as a trade partner, we are ignoring our American dairy farmers who dump milk on the streets in response to low milk prices. Clearly, Ventura is above the political parties, yet in tune with the real world globalization we experience in our modern world.

Conan O’Brien, your next Vice President of the United States of America—What a smart choice! Before you laugh off the suggestion, consider this: Conan O’Brien graduated Magna Cum Laude from Harvard (our current President Bush graduated a straight C student from Yale). Being witty and personable, Conan O’Brien could definitely find ways to bring the opposing parties of Congress together to make the important decisions and compromises we need here in the U.S.

So who is the logical choice for Secretary of State? Why George Clooney, of course, and by all accounts, I suspect Clooney would be happy for the new role! Already he has standing as an international diplomat. He has spoken in the U.N. as well as organized others to raise awareness about the genocide in Darfur, Africa. Clooney is routinely described in articles as wanting to make his company comfortable. A charismatic people-person, such as Clooney, would surely help mend the U.S.’s broken international reputation.

On to Internal Affairs with Oprah Winfrey. Through her shows and missions, Winfrey has proven herself a compassionate billionaire, with a big soft spot for charitable work. Her dedication to helping those less fortunate would make a great contribution to the Office of Internal Affairs. With all of the discussion over illegal immigrants, I believe that having Winfrey as the Internal Affairs head would help our Congressmen remember the humanity of our nations immigrants and perhaps help to level out the conversations, discussing immigrants as people instead of just numbers and dollars.

Not pictured here, the Director of the EPA, Harrison Ford. Ford is a real nature-lover, and after the gutting of the EPA during this last Presidential administration, the environment could sure use a little lovin’. Ford organizes other celebrities to pool money together to buy up wild lands, keeping them in their pristine form, and saving them from development and sprawl. Surely he would be able to help guide the EPA in their efforts to better monitor our nation’s environment.

Make way for the Director of the Department of Agriculture, Wyclef Kean (also not pictured). Beyond the rap, we have a truly outstanding statesman! Kean is completely engrossed in his charity to help Haitians. His main focus is food and grain shortages and a lingering economy. This would make Jean perfect for helping develop an agenda for America’s Department of Agriculture. Maybe he could find a good use for all of that grain that grows moldy in American silos every year.