Fantacrap (adj): a combination of Fantasea and Crap

The last time I was this embarrassed I was rinsing a dirty plunger in the bathtub at a friend's apartment. But that was lifetimes before the Shedd Aquarium's new show Fantasea.

Before the Shedd calls me a family-fun hating monster, let me say in my defense, "Shedd, I don't get any special joy out of nicknaming your new production Fantacrap. The show isn't even open yet, and you can bet when it does there will be dozens, if not hundreds, flocking to the internet to bash the show you've called Fantasea. Besides, Shedd, if you're going to get criticized, wouldn't you rather hear it from someone who loves you?"--At least, that's what my Mom always said to me...

Fantasea could have been interesting, if it were kept under an 30 minutes, ditched the Disney/Sea World feel, and was altogether redeveloped. The one thing Fantasea has going for it is, for the first time Shedd audiences can go to the Oceanarium and see several animals, including the dolphins, do tricks. (Yes tricks... because if you try to tell me that a sea lion tugging a rope with the word pull on it is a "natural behavior", I'll go from embarasse to ashamed.) Every other element in the show is working against Fantasea, from the colorful seaweed hoola dancers, to the out of place Mary Poppins-type characters with umbrellas suspended from the ceiling, to that poor young girl who's planted in the audience with her "mom".

The emcee of Fantasea had asked everyone in the audience not to discuss the show because it's official release is still a few days away... so I won't give any more spoilers, but I cannot say this enough: The show is embarassing! It's embarrassing to watch he Shedd Aquarium endeavor to put on a Disney-esque performance and miss the mark completely, becoming a corny production with no value in entertainment, education, nor otherwise. I don't have kids, and I can't tell if any in the audience were buying the show, although my boyfriend swears he saw one 2-year-old roll his eyes.

Fantasea completely undermines the great and interesting things going on at the Shedd. It's a shame Fantasea reached the point of expensive lesson to be learned, when any dopey focus group would have axed it in pre-production phases and helped the Shedd avoid what will certainly become a big black eye.